Harvey’s Vegetables

I was greeted with great excitement by my youngest son last night.

He’s still loving nursery, and wanting to get involved in anything he can.

He started babbling about having to take something in for Harvey, a look at my wife only solicited a wry smile.

I calmed him down and asked him to repeat it slowly:

Him:”I’ve got to take something in for Harvey at nursery!”

Me: “O-k, who is Harvey?”

H: “I don’t know, but we’ve got to take something in for him”

M: “O-k, what do you have to take in?”

H: “Vegetables!”

M: “Ah, is that for printing pictures with?” (laughter from my wife, and a puzzled look from him)

H: “No, it’s got to be in cans!”

M: “Cans? Why cans?”

H: ” Teacher said we have to bring vegetable in cans for Harvey”

My wife then stepped in to explain, that it’s for the Harvest Festival at school, and he’s got to take in tinned goods

H: “YES! That’s what I said Harvey’s vegetables!”

Harvest Festival and Harvey’s vegetables aren’t a million miles apart I guess….

Time flies by

when you’re the driver of a train, or so the children’s tv theme goes. It also goes really quickly when you’re a parent.

Yesterday Godzooky 3 started nursery, the nursery attached to his school that is. He only goes for half a day, but it does require full school uniform now.

Which proved interesting when we took him for his induction last week. The nursery teacher is new to the school, and coincidentally the only male teacher in the school, and as such blissfully unaware of the track record Godzooky 3 has.

He’s a well known character throughout the school, as he certainly isn’t backwards in coming forwards, or basically is into everything and wants to know everyone.

As we approached the nursery last week we were greeted by Mr Wild (hopefully with that name he can cope with the new influx of small people!) who tried to direct us to the Reception classroom next door – for the children a year older than Godzooky 3!

It only became really apparent to me why he’d made this error when his new classmates arrived (there were only about half a dozen being inititaed at the same time) and Godzooky 3 literally stands head and shoulders above them in a physical sense.

I don’t think of him as being particularly big for his age, although we did get a slight inkling when we went to buy new school shoes. He takes a bigger size shoe than his sister, who is 18 months older. It was still quite a shock, seeing that difference in size. It’s left me slightly worried about how he’ll act towards the other kids : he takes no crap off his older brother (who’s 9 now) and will happily trade blows with him. I don’t want him to act like that around smaller children!

Still, all went wel on the first day apparently, no tears on getting left by mum, unlike a couple of kids who cried for the whole 3 hours apparently! He loved it and couldn’t wait to go back today, so it seems to be a good start….

Life and all it’s vagaries

there are some moments in life which are really hard. We visited Grandma Zilla this weekend, and whilst we did have a lovely time there were moments of sadness interspersed.

The weather was gorgeous, warm sunshine to bask in, but coupled with a nice steady breeze to prevent you overheating.

We went to the beach and the kids paddled in the sea whilst I set about damming a small stream that runs into the sea, in that manly father type way that we tend towards.

We then travelled inland a mile or so, traversing the hill and passing all the freshly shorn sheep on the way (some of whom have scant regard for cars, and will amble along the road at a pace to suit themselves, even shouts of “mint sauce” not provoking fear in them!) up to the stone circle*

* this is not in anyway on the same scale as Stonehenge etc, but merely a small collection of limestone rocks that have been put into a small circle with a diameter of about 12 feet.

My daughter likes to think of it as a fairy circle and imagine herself as one, dancing around the circle waving her magic wand.

All pleasant, happy things to do on a bright summer’s day.

Then certain moments can change your outlook completely: Grandma Zilla telling me that I shouldn’t get old, it’s horrible apparently.

I tried pointing out that the alternative to getting old isn’t much of a better choice: death!

She laughed, but she is clearly not a happy soul at the moment, her quality of life post stroke is not what she wants it to be.

I’m hoping it’s just a bad day she was having, but I sense on the phone soemtimes that things are not going great for her. It’s times like this that make living so far away difficult.

Recap

Where to start? So much seems to have gone on.

Firstly my mother. She’s doing ok, and on a good day, when she’s not tired, I can understand about 90% of what she’s saying.

When she’s tired, she slurs her words more and is almost unintelligible.

She is up and down with her moods, which is pretty understandable, and in all honesty I don’t think I’d be coping as well as she is.

In another development to an already shit year, my boss died from bowel cancer. It was all pretty sudden, he was diagnosed and died within a three week period. They tried to operate, although it was already deemed terminal, to try and give him some extra time and a better quality of life, However he just wasn’t strong enough to get through the operation. An earlier diagnosis may have given him a better chance.

The suddenness of all this left a huge hole in my life. I’d worked with the guy for 13 years, and he was the father figure in my life, so his loss hit me quite hard on both a personal and work level.

It’s looking like they’re not going to replace him at work, which has meant me taking on a lot of the stuff he used to deal with. I’m always up for a fresh challenge, but this does feel pretty weird still. The extra cash doesn’t seem anywhere near enough either, but that’s not really an issue of importance. I still find myself thinking “wait till Geoff hears about that”, and then I realise that he’s not here anymore.

He was a great man, selfless and always helpful, and I truly hope I can follow in his footsteps with even half the grace and dignity he had. He was a great role model for how to conduct yourself, both professionally and personally, and I learnt  a lot from him.

In better news, the two eldest kids have done really well at school this year, both getting great reports and proving themselves to be very able. Our youngest starts nursery, part time, in September. Where the time has gone I just don’t know.

That’s the main news recapped, the day to day stuff can take over from now….

Update

things seem to be going fairly well at the moment.

My mum has got full mobility and no paralysis, which is itself a blessing.

Her speech is still non-existent, but she’s now receiving speech therapy.

The lack of speech (coupled with her inability to mime anything!) leads to a complex version of twenty questions when trying to ascertain whatever she needs.

She’s on the waiting list to move to a rehabilitation centre, which is more positive news: that being the first step to her getting home.

The whole family came up with me this time and we managed to spend the mornings doing different wonderful things, making it feel more like a sort of holiday than I expected.

The pace of life is so different up there and the opportunities for outdoor fun are almost limitless, with the sea, hills and lakes all within a 10 minute drive.

Having an old schol friend back in the area really helped too, we had great times as two families, watching our kids enjoy the things we did as youngsters.

The only down side is the mountain of work and emails that I’ve come back to, although given how badly things could be going I am grateful for the current scenario, rather than something much worse.

Time warp

It  feels like a lifetime since I last posted, yet in another way it feels like only yesterday.

Where to start with the recap?

The weekend visit to the Lakes was lovely. Catching up with my oldest friend is always magical, and we’re planning more escapades before they emigrate to Australia (if they get permission to, that is).

Monday brought the most snow I’ve ever seen in Manchester (which covers nearly 22 years !)

The pathetic way our nation deals with a dusting of snow is abysmal.

On a personal level I was reprimanded by my children’s teachers. Being off, I took them to school and joined in with the predictable snowball fight when we arrived in the school yard. Suddenly teachers appeared and told us that it wasn’t allowed. For a moment I felt about 8 years old again!

Killjoys!

Tuesday was the day of the funeral.Very difficult for all concerned.

Godzooky 1 was in floods of tears. he’d been bottling things up since the death, and the funeral obviously made the dam burst. I think it did him the world of good, expressing his grief and relieving the tension.

It made me cry too, seeing my son distraught, and knowing that nothing I could say or do would change the way he felt right then. I’m used to employing distraction tactics to stave off prolonged tears.

It also took me back to my father’s funeral, 16 years ago. It was my first  funeral since then.

The funeral went as well as they can, and we did have some smiles and fond memories at the wake.

One step taken along the path of grieving, although the anniversaries begin this weekend : it would have been their 51st wedding anniversary on Sunday.

Still in limbo

re coroner – who was in court all day yesterday.

Children can be damn nasty can’t they?

One of Godzooky 1’s “friends” told him that people who are cremated go to hell. Ignorant or malicious? I’m not sure, but it certainly upset him.

A few facts set him straight, but he’d been very upset at school. Why do kids believe that their friends know everything? As I put it to him: If they’re so clever then why do they need a teacher in class?

Being a parent

certain isn’t easy.

I sat all the godzookies down on Saturday (with a cookie to ensure everyone sat still!) to break the news of their Grandfather’s impending death.

As I expected Godzooky 1 took it hard, he was crying for quite some time. He got me crying too, even though I’d resolved to be strong!Also as I expected, it went over the heads of out two youngest, but I  felt they deserved to hear it from me  rather than by accident elsewhere.

My timing was deliberate, as we were going out to a 50th birthday party on Saturday evening, and I hoped that would prove a good distraction. Which it did, they all “danced” (a very loose term for what they were doing) like lunatics all night, and were shattered when we got home at 11pm.

Thankfully with me driving I hadn’t had a drink all night, and I was wired from the emotion. So when Godzooky 2 fell out of bed at 12.45am I was able to get there quickly.

As I soothed her face I realsied all was not well – there was a rapidly expanding lump on her head. She’s obvoiously caught her head on the bunk bed ladder when she fell out.

By 12.50 am I had her in the car and was heading off to casualty. When I arrived there I was relieved to see no queue and we were seen straight away. She got a clean bill of health and i had her back in bed by 1.25am! Thank goodness for the NHS!

By the morning her bump was almost gone and she was fine – it still amazes me how they bounce back so quickly.

We went to visit Grandad again on Sunday, and I was braced for tears from Godzooky 1, but they didn’t materialise.

Godzooky 3 was the one to get upset, strangely enough. He was asking if I was going to die soon, so he took in more than I thought he had. Some reassuring words soon comforted him, and I’m left waiting to see what the next turn of events will bring.

It looks as though Grandad is going to be released from hospital soon, they’re just waiting for a bed to come available in a hospice….

That Friday feeling

isn’t hitting me today.

I’m facing up to the task of telling Godzooky 1 about his grandad tomorrow, and then dealing with the aftermath of that.

My plan is to tell him tomorrow afternoon, as we’re going to a neighbour’s 50th birthday party tomorrow night, so taht may prove a distraction for him.

Then we’re visiting the hospital on Sunday, so we’ll have  a good chance to see how he’s coping before the return to school on Monday.

I’ve got no real feel for how he’s going to react, I know he’s close to his grandad, but whether he goes into his shell or comes out “blazing” remains to be seen….

Guitar hero

no, not the game, but Godzooky 1!

He’s brought a guitar home from school, as he’s now officially learning it. Apparently, in a less than normal, flush of enthusiasm he was keen to learn how to play it. Normally he shies away from anything like that, so I’m astounded with his new found eagerness.

I’m slightly worried by bothe the potential for a racket in the house, and the possibility of smaller Godzookies damaging the guitar. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I am slightly jealous of his opportunity: when I was at school teh only real option was to learn the recorder, which frankly is much less cool than the guitar. Perhaps I can persuade him to teach me too, as he goes along…?