Perspective

We travelled up to see Grandma Zilla this weekend, the first time since she had her diagnosis and the last time before her operation in two weeks.

My family were never big on hugs (which is why I try to have them as often as I can with the Godzookies) and it’s times like this that it hits home how sad that is.

I did give my mum some hugs, but with that underlying strangeness to it, they just highlighted the sadness of the situation. I hope they helped my mum in some small way and didn’t seem token gestures.

I know full well that she’s got excellent prospect of making a full recovery, but I still find myself dwelling on the worst case scenario.

I need to buck my ideas up and concentrate on dealing with each thing at a time. I can’t change the future, but I can react positively to the present.

Mixed Bag

Last night we attended Godzooky 1’s school. It was to receive the good/bad news about his SAT results.

Whilst i understand the need to assess kids I don’t recall such stringent tests as a child. Mind you, I don’t think he really sees them as stressful.

Overall, as the post title implies there was a mixture of results:

Reading – he excels at – he’s got the reading age of someone two years older, which is great news

Maths – he’s above average, also good news

Writing – he’s below average apparently. He’s not using a variety of language and is keeping things far too simple. So this is the target area for him to improve upon.

Overall I’m really happy with him, he is maturing into a really nice boy. His teacher told us how he’s made a real effort to help integrate a new starter into the social scene within his class.

Perhaps we are doing something right as parents… 

More pox

unbelievably now Godzooky 3 has the chicken pox.

At least they’ve all got it out of the way now I guess.

I’d forgotten how nasty the pustules are, and unfortunately for Godzooky 3 he’s got them everywhere, yes, even there!. The poor unfortunate little fella!

Just thinking about it is making me itch in an uncomfortable way!

 

Honesty

Somehow I managed to contrive to have nothing to make for my lunch today.

So, on my way to work I thought I’d pick up a sandwich. You get a better choice first thing and there aren’t the same lunch time queues.

I made my selection and headed for the checkout, where the sole staff member was struggling to serve customers and deal with a delivery that needed signing for.

As she scanned my sandwich I could see she wasn’t focussing properly, and when I handed over a £10 note she was clearly flustered. She started getting my change together and once the coins were assembled she picked up the £10 note I had just given her.

She handed the whole lot back to me along with my sandwich.

I pointed out her error, saying that she’d given me too much money.

She was completely gobsmacked: “Wow, you’re honest!”

Given how distracted she’d been I would have felt awful taking advantage of her situation. Am I so unusual in this day and age?

The delivery man said to me ” You should have just got straight outside mate!” Which I thought wa snice of hi 

Something Different

This little gem has been doing the rounds of my office:

What would your debut album be?

1. Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random

The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band

2. Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to flickr’s “explore the last seven days” http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
 The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

 

Here’s my results:

Band name: Saint-Jean-Mirabel

Album title : Acquired by age eighteen

Cover:

 

Just a bit of fun before the weekend…

Unbelievable

As if my poor mother didn’t have enough to contend with, her luck at the moment just seems terrible.

She’s been waiting to see a consultant about a small patch on her face. She had a rodent ulcer back in 1999, and it seems to have returned slightly. Yesterday she saw the consultant and he’s advised more surgery, although it does include some plastic surgery thrown in!

Then she went for a routine visit to the optician, thinking she needed new glasses. He then told her that she has the start of two cataracts, and referred her back to hospital again!

Talk about bad news all coming at once!

I don’t want to turn this into a bad news blog, but every day something seems to add to the pile of woe.

Different tack

from posts relating to illness.

I read about this:The oldest computer generated music and it made me realise just how far we’ve come in such a short space of time.

Without those pioneers who lived and worked just around the corner from where I sit now the world would be a completley different place.

 

Coming to terms

with last week’s news hasn’t been easy.

I still feel isolated and too far away.

Godzooky 1 has now broken out with chickenpox, so Grandma Zilla wants us to stay away while we may still be contagious.

I understand it, but am still finding it hard to stay away.

Father’s Day passed uneventfully. I got my home made cards, which were adorable, but no present was forthcoming, so I treated myself to Indian Jones Lego game on the Wii.

This decision has proved to be a big hit with Godzooky 1, and even Mrs Zilla has enjoyed playing it!

I also ended up spending what seems like a lot of money on a vacuum cleaner. Still, if it lasts 11 years like the last one I guess it won’t be too bad.

My life does just seem like one big ball of excitement at the moment… right.

  

Father’s day

It feels a little weird having this day roll up so close to the news about my mother’s illness.

My dad died 16 years ago, from cancer, and I feel robbed of so many opportunities, both personally and for my children.

He  loved kids, although he sometimes found it hard to show me that love, he would always find a way of reaching kids on their level and making them smile.

I know he would have adored his grandkids and I feel sad for both him and them that they never had any time together.

The initial pain of Father’s day has receded in the years since, but this year it feels a little more intense again, probably because I’m facing the prospect of losing my other parent.

On the more positive side, now I am a parent I get to have Fatehr’s day for myself. I know I won’t get more than a short lie in and perhaps some breakfast in bed, but that will still be nice.

I know I’m getting home made cards this year; not because the kids’ have blown the story, but just from the sheer amount of glitter that was all around the house last night, when I got in from work.

So I do have something to look forward to this weekend, although I am also faced with the prospect of having to look for a new vacuum cleaner, as ours sort of blew up the other night.

I like shopping for electricals generally, but I can’t get that excited about a vacuum cleaner…. 

There’s no easy way

of putting this, so I’m just going to put it down, my mother has just been told she has breast cancer.

Apparently, (although this is all my mother’s version of events) it is a grade 1 tumour, which is the least severe. It’s apparently tubular, which should be good news in terms of it spreading.

My mother had a routine mamogram last month which revealed a potential issue, she had a biopsy two weeks ago which confirmed the presence of cancer cells.

She’s due to have a lumpectomy on July 11, where they will remove the growth and also test one of her lymph nodes at the same time. Whilst she’s there they will test the node for cancer cells, and if they detect any they will remove the rest of the lymph nodes.

She’s then due to have radiation therapy, although dates for that haven’t yet been set.

I still feel in a bit of a daze, even though I’ve known about the potential for this for a month or so.

It doesn’t help living so far away, and being an only child I don’t feel I have anyone else who cares in the same way I do.

I have untold fears of seeing my mum die in the same way my dad did, eaten away by cancer, leaving a person who bears little or no resemblance to the parent I love.

I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to tell the godzookies yet, I just feel numb and helpless.

Where my mum lives isn’t exactly isolated, but it’s far from ideal in terms of her getting treatment easily in a local environment.

I’m hoping that bothe she and I can muster the strength we need to get through this. I don’t want to let her down in anyway.