How to feel like a good parent

This is pretty scary stuff:

Yes, jackhammers, far worse than cigarettes aren’t they?

Blank

I’ve gone blank.

I can remember walking to the tram this morning with an idea for a post.

and now it’s gone.

perhaps it’s a sign of age.

or stress.

or that it wasn’t that great an idea in the first place.

answers on a postcard please.

Red Hot & Dutch

This should make for interesting hits via a google search!

 The title is prompted by my shopping expedition last night, rather than any late night viewing habits I have.

Whilst perusing the dairy section of the supermarket my eyes grazed across the title of this post: they were emblazoned across a lump of cheese.

Porno cheese? Who could have invented such a thing?

Disappointingly it turned out to be Dutch edam cheese, impregnated with chilli (I had to keep the sex reference in somewhere!)

Insert your own pun here:

Hot stuff/Creamy mouthful etc etc 

Training vs Working

I spent all day yesterday on a training course, organised through our HR department: High Impact Teams.

Whilst I normally enjoy such a distraction from the routine working day, this wasn’t a great day.

We spent all morning analysing question types: open, closed, probing, leading etc etc

It was all designed to highlight to us when we are being manipulated, and to give us the power of assertiveness.

Call me cynical, but I know whenever I’m being manipulated: it’s when my boss talks to me!

My luck may be changing

I took yesterday off at short notice: I got chewed out by my boss for no good reason on Wednesday, so I thought, stuff you, see how you cope without me at short notice.

I got a grovelly apology this morning, so I achieved my desired affect.

I’m slightly sick of being taken for granted, and being heaped with more and more work. This worm has turned!

I had a great day off as well: taking the two oldest to school, although Godzooky 2 wanted me to stay at nursery with her, and do some painting!

We took Godzooky 3 to the shops to buy him some new shoes – he seems to be growing at a freaky rate and is already wearing 3 year old clothes, even though he doesn’t turn 2 until January!

We parked in the shopping centre car park, and as I opened my door there was a £20 note lying on the floor. It had been there all night, as it was soaking and plastered to the floor.

Bonus time – that was his shoes paid for, or so I thought. Mrs Zilla appropriated the funds and spent them on something for her own pleasure. I won’t say exactly what she bought, but it takes batteries and will put a smile on her face. You work it out!

In the afternoon we went to the soft play area and had lots of fun with the two youngest kids. 

I seem to have some sort of pied piper effect  – lots of kids were joining in the games I was having with mine.

Sadly, in a refelction of our times, this makes me feel very uncomfortable; I don’t like strangers children getting too close, just in case someone takes it the wrong way. Having said that, I’m a sucker for making kids laugh – there’s almost no better feeling than that.

Godzooky 1 had after school sports, so we had three very tired kids last night!

Oh, and Mra Zilla enjoyed her new toy very much!

This weekend the birthday party season starts again, so my taxi service to and from places also starts again.

Attitude

There must be a new lesson being introduced at schools these days: how to have an attitude.

Godzooky 2 has only been attending nursery for just over a week, and already she has acquired a new, “I don’t care” attitude.

This manifests itself with her  ignoring what you ask her to do, and then when pressing her to do something she sticks her tongue out.

In seriousness, I am not assuming she is geetting taught this at school, but presumably she is picking it up from other kids.

Hopefully she will settle down soon and return to her normally pleasant self.

Nightmare First Day

Another work related post – blimey, two in a row!

We had a fire alarm here yesterday – so 500 people trooped out into the cold (but thankfully dry) streets.

It appeared to be the usual false alrm at first, but then two fire engines turned up, sirens blaring.

This provoked interest from all the assembled women, and we began to assume that there must be something serious happening.

Wrong as usual – apparently it was all down to a new starter that day.

We have internal security doors, which can only be opened from the outside with your security pass. Leaving a floor you have to press a door release button.

This poor, unfortunate, new starter had pressed the fire alarm instead of the door release button!

Oh the shame, one hour into your new job!

The Interviews

I never enjoy interviewing; I guess it may be because they are a bit of a charade: everyone on their best behaviour, saying the “right” things and generally not being themselves.

That’s the normal way, but not last week!

We only had 3 candidates to interview, and I had designed a brief test to check out their practical abilities.

Candidate No.1 – was an internal applicant. She works on the bank of desks opposite mine. She didn’t actually apply in time for the vacancy, but came to ask me about the job the following day after the deadline.

I didn’t sense much enthusiasm in her, and she seemed more interested in the extra cash it would pay. However, I thought why not give her a chance? Don’t close your mind and all that.

I told her to have a word with the temp, who is currently doing the job, to see if she was interested and to learn a bit more about it. This may seem like a bit unfair, her having the inside track etc. but, why shouldn’t a current employee gain a slight advantage?

Well, she didn’t gain an advantage. Her test result was woeful, despite being given some hints. Her lack of enthusiasm also shone through: the HR person made extensive reference to it. So she didn’t even go through the pretence of  saying this was the job she really wanted!

Next

Candidate No. 2 – middle aged guy, who’s just been made redundant. Spent 30 years in the same place, vastly overqualified, clearly looking for a job to tide him over. Whilst I appreciate that he wants a job, I know that he wouldn’t stay more than a couple of months. Then I face this whole process again. He did get the test right though.

Unlike

Candidate No.3 – fresh out of college, no experience, but on paper should be keen.

Wrong.

Even less enthusiasm than our internal person! Test was an absoolute disgrace for soemone who’s just left college.

What disappointed me most about all 3 interviews was that none of them showed any interest in what the job involved. To me it’s quite a varied role, and I could talk it up all day long.

No-one asked any questions at the end! I thought everyone knew you had to think of at least one question to ask?

Has someone rewritten the rules of job applications and not told me?

I’m not sure what the next step is going to be.

I actually feel quite despondent about it. Does no-one out there want to show some enthusiasm any more? Even fake enthusiasm would do! 

Nice to meet you (hopefully)

Busiest day of the month again – paying out lots of money today, sadly not enough into my bank account, as usual.

So, of course, this is the perfect day to have interviews for a new recruit!

Longer term sufferers of this blog may recall my staff issues raising their heads last year.

Well, the temp we got in to cover that job announced that he wanted to leave shortly, so we’ve had to start looking for a permanent solution.

Unfortunately, we have had a bright, new initiative in recruiting: we don’t advertise in the press, we advertise on the internet instead.

This means that we save lots of money, because job adverts in newspapers are silly prices.

The down side is that we had 30 application forms requested, and a grand total of 3 returned!

None of these candidates sound like the ideal person, but we’re interviewing them all, with the proviso that we don’t have to accept any of them if they’re bad.

The little test I’ve designed should help separate the wheat from the chaff.

There may be blog worthy material in this…..

It’s true…

some people clearly never grow up.

I was at the tram station this morning, I’d been waiting for about 2 minutes, and I knew I was going to have to wait a few more.

The trams come every 6 minutes in busy times, and when I got to the platform it was empty, a sure sign that you’v ejust missed one!

Anyway, as I say, I’d been there a couple of minutes, when this guy came onto the platform. He was carrying a computer case and another bag slung over his shoulder.

He couldn’t stand still, constantly pacing around. Then he started glancing at his watch every few seconds.

Clearly he was late for some appointment, but in that situation I would be reassured that there are several other people there too: I haven’t just missed a tram, in other words.

I couldn’t hear him, as I had my mp3 player on, but he was clearly muttering something.

Suddenly he threw his computer bad onto the floor, and I swear, stamped his foot.

I was waiting for a full tantrum to break out: he may have thrown himself on the floor and begun screaming, but thankfully the next tram came round the bend at that moment.

I wonder how he behaved in the important meeting he had? Perhaps the word “Shan’t” and a protruding bottom lip featured?

Some people do seem to overreact to small set backs don’t they?